Bribery

ladyhallen:

It
was so, soo difficult to have a boss that teleported.

Darcy
didn’t really mind the magic tricks, she got used to not screaming at the
sudden snakes appearing on top of her lunch box, or kissing an imaginary
seahorse that suddenly appeared inside her coffee cup. (After the first fifty
times, it got old really
fast.)

Darcy
didn’t mind the dramatic cackling. Working for a self-proclaimed villain and an
all around asshole made a lot of people pissed off at her boss. So there were
epic battles all around the office and pot holes being made on the road around
the office. (She’d had to set up a fund for road repairs and maintenance. The
city refused to pay it after the first five times.)

What she did mind was the teleporting.

Loki fucking-burdened-with-a-glorious-fucking-purpose
Odinson tended to teleport to work randomly.

She could have born his strange habit of appearing just behind her back and breathing
heavily down her neck. (She had a taser and wasn’t afraid to use it.)

She could have born his even more strange habit of
flickering the lights when he did so. (She had high heels and those were a
weapon all by itself.)

What she couldn’t stand were his appearances that didn’t
have a freaking schedule.

Teleporting to work should mean that he had no late
hours, but Loki had the tendency to arrive when it was nearing noon. (Darcy
supposed that he was busy running his evil villain thingy and she’s fine with
that because not everyone can run a business and do evil stuff at the same
time.)

He was the boss, it ought to have been alright if he
had sick days. He ran the business and he dictated his own office hours.

Fucking no, it wasn’t alright.

How could he sign papers if he wasn’t there to sign
them?

And it wasn’t even the teleporting in that was the
problem. The problem was that he teleported
out.

Nothing, not even handcuffs, could make him stick to
one place long enough for Darcy to bribe him for his signature.

There were three dozen proposals and his tax forms
needed signing!

Bosses that teleported were fucking exhausting.

.

Darcy met Pepper Potts by accident and both of them
knew each other.

Darcy, because she kept up with her social media
accounts even if she didn’t have much of a social life after working for Loki
the-fucking-silver-tongue Odinson. Pepper Potts had a distinctive face in that
she was really rather beautiful.

Pepper knew Darcy because apparently, evil villains rhapsodies-ed
in battle about their P.A.’s.

She’s going to fucking kill him, the next time he
teleported in and breathed down her neck.

“Oh, it’s you!” Pepper exclaims.

Her startled face doesn’t really do anything to how
intimidating she is.

Darcy, fed up with the paperwork that’s looking like
it’s starting to do its own culture and population behind her desk, bursts into
tears.

“Oh gosh,” Pepper says, just a slight bit frantic. She
procures a handkerchief, wipes Darcy’s face and murmurs soothingly to her.
Darcy is half-way in love with her already.

“How do you do it?” Darcy demands. “How do you get
Stark to sign anything? Loki just pops in, checks everything is going well for
three minutes, and then pops out again. Apparently, his godly mind is so
awesome that with just one look, he can assimilate everything and know how
everything is going.”

Pepper doesn’t seem to know what to do with supervillain
P.A.’s bursting into tears and asking her for advice. Darcy doesn’t care. She’s
fed up with it and wants to share the pain.

“Bribery,” Pepper says automatically. “He responds
well with food and um…”

Darcy can fill in the rest, by Pepper’s blush.

“He doesn’t even like Midgardian food,” Darcy mumbles.

But an idea is showing up in her mind and she rolls
with it.

.

Darcy shows up to work the next day wearing a teeny
tiny slip of a bikini.

Several employees walk into walls and an unfortunate one gets a concussion. Some women even wolf whistle.

It really leaves nothing to the imagination and it takes all of Darcy’s will not to blush.

Thankfully, Loki shows up three hours before noon,
before Darcy can change her mind and chicken out.

The god of mischief does his usual surveillance and
goggles when he sees what she’s wearing.

“What in Asgard…” he mumbles.

Darcy smiles at him and she’s gratified to see him
blush.

“I need your signature for the piles of paper behind
me. And then you can look.” She declares. She puts on her coat and turns
around. In the mirror’s reflection, she can see him swallow.

“Huh,” he says. “Alright.”

Loki starts signing.

.

Darcy shows up to work the next day absolutely giddy.

She has no paperwork pending, no  maintenance and repairs happening and everyone
is behaving.

Then Loki appears behind her, arms going around her
waist and lips nibbling on her neck.

“What,” is all she manages to say before he bites
particularly hard and her brain goes empty.

Within another blink, she’s back in her apartment, his
hands going down her stomach.

Okay, having a boss who teleported might not be so
bad.

.

Hah, okay. Binge reading on MCU fics.