Tasertricks, either 15 or 6. I’m super indecisive today.

dresupi:

Pairing:  Darcy Lewis/Loki
Word Count: 1172
Prompt:  #6 “Take your damn holiday lights down, it’s June.”  

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Darcy’s next door neighbor, Loki Laufeyson, had the nicest lawn on the entire street.  He had imported sod, beautifully sculpted topiaries and gorgeous azeleas.  It was flat out beautiful.  

And in contrast, Darcy had the trashiest lawn in the entire world.  Well, maybe the world was a little ambitious.  It was definitely in the top ten, though.  

She had tacky flamingos, a kiddie pool that she lounged in on a regular basis during the summer months, and a rather aggressive mint garden.  It had started out as an herb garden, but mint was crazy and now it was a mint garden.  

And, for the past seven months, she’d had some lovely holiday lights on timers.  

Now in his defense, the first time he asked her to take them down, he was very polite.  

It had happened exactly one day following New Year’s.  

He’d rung her doorbell and asked her in a very polite way to please get her lights down in a timely manner this year.  He’d then, in true Loki fashion, ruined his politeness by reminding her how long it had taken her to remove them the year previous.  

So Darcy, in her infinite wisdom and snarkiness, had promised to do her best to have them down just as soon as she could.  And she’d then proceeded to come up with a new reason every weekend for not removing the lights.  

For the entire month of February, she maintained that since her neon Santa was red and white, he was a portly version of St. Valentine and therefore a festive decoration.  

For March, she’d feigned a light cough.  Allergies.  

April was pretty fun, because she’d stretched April Fool’s Day out over the entire month by telling Loki each time he asked that she was just headed out to do it.  Only to then yell ’April Fool’s!’ over his privacy fence and proceed to do what she’d done for the past three months.  Which was nothing.  

She’d taken to turning the sprinklers on whenever Mr. Laufeyson happened to come near her lawn during the month of May.  She had a waterproof remote and sat in her kiddie pool while she tormented him.  

If she’d gotten a whiff of anyone else in the neighborhood being upset about her lights, she’d have taken them down in an instant.  But, she was pretty sure they either didn’t care or were as annoyed with Loki as she was, and therefore could overlook the faux pas of her tacky neon Santa and twinkly lights.  

Currently it was June and honestly, she’d run out of ideas.  

But he was nothing if not predictable, and kind of hot when he got all flustered.  So, she kept up her prank if only for the lolz.  

He rang her doorbell on this lovely June morning and when she opened it, she was greeted to a positively frightening sight.  

He was…smiling.  Not that he was a particularly frightening guy.  He was actually kind of handsome.  Okay, not handsome, he had some straight up John Thornton vibes going.  

“Can I…help you?” she asked.  

“Ms. Lewis…”  

“Darcy,” she corrected him.  

“Darcy…” he continued.  "If you don’t mind, I would like to volunteer my services in removing your holiday lights.  It seems to be a difficult prospect for you, and as a good neighbor, I’d like to help.“  

Darcy smirked and shook her head.  "Nah.  It’s not that hard.  Just gotta lug out the ladder from the garage.  And climb up it and yank ‘em down.  Probably might take me an hour.  Tops.”  

Loki took a deep breath and let it out.  "Can I assist you in th–“  

“Nope,” Darcy said, grinning widely.  

“For pity’s sake, woman…” he hissed under his breath.  "Could you please, just take your damn lights down?  It’s June.“

"This really bothers you, doesn’t it?” she asked, folding her arms and leaning against her doorframe, clearly amused.  

His mouth twitched before he answered.  "It clearly does.“  

"Well, okay, then.  That’s all you had to say.”  

“Really?” He looked so hopeful, she almost didn’t want to continue.

Only almost.  Because he really was unbearable.  

“Nope,” she replied, popping the ‘p’.  

His nostrils flared as his face fell.  "You are infuriating.“  

"Thanks!  But listen, I would be willing to consider a holiday light removal if you could do one little thing for me.”  

“What?” he practically snarled.  

“Geez dude, touchy, touchy.”  She raised her hands in front of her.  "That’s what I’m talking about right there.  You’re a mean old grouch.  Except you’re not really all that old.“  She shrugged.  "You’re actually a mean foxy grouch, but you know, the mean grouch really kills the fox.”  

He raised his eyebrows slightly.  "The only reason I act the way I do is because you push me to it.“  

Darcy snorted.  "That’s entirely for my benefit, huh?”  

He frowned, sputtering slightly.  "That’s…that’s…no!“  

"Whatever dude.  Listen.  I’ll remove my lights this very afternoon if you will stop being such an unapproachable curmudgeon to everyone else in the neighborhood.”  

“I am perfectly pleasant!” he argued.  

“Dude.  No.  I am perfectly pleasant.  Do you see how the entire neighborhood has sided with me on this little…whatever it is?”  She gestured towards her yard, sweeping her arm to include his too.  "Do you think it’s because they like the tacky spectacle that is my home?“  

He furrowed his brow in thought.  "No, I…I suppose not…”  

Darcy smirked.  "Right?  It’s because they like me.  It’s because I take part in the block parties, and I put out candy on Halloween.  And…yeah, my lawn might be horrendously decorated, but I pay the Johnson’s daughter to mow it like everyone else on the block.  Except you.“  She pointed her finger and pushed against his chest.  "So dude.  I will take those lights down right now, if you promise to be an actively nice member of this community.  Deal?”  She held out her hand.  

He took another deep breath and nodded, grasping her hand and shaking it.  "Deal.“  

"Cool beans, bruh.”  She smirked and slipped on her flip flops.  "And as promised, the lights will come down.  But you had better believe they’ll be back up the next time you act like a douche monkey, got it?“  

"You’re not…going to climb a ladder in those shoes, are you?”  Loki asked, frowning deeply once more.

Darcy sighed.  "What is wrong with my shoes?  Do they not match the trim on my house?“  

"Unless your trim is fluorescent orange, no.  But they aren’t the proper footwear to be traipsing up and down on a ladder.  I’d never forgive myself if you fell from that height and cracked you pretty little head open on your driveway…I’ll climb the ladder.  You can wind them up as I pull them down.”  

Darcy couldn’t help but smile as she led Loki out to her garage.  "So, tell me, Lokes…do you really think I have a pretty little head?“  

He stopped walking and turned to look at her.  "Yes.  And that isn’t just my attempt at being a good neighbor.”